As my late fifties approached, I occasionally reflect on possible post-retirement activities, more accurately, what vocation can I embrace. It's still some way off, but given my considerations require skill, it's not too early to begin planning, that way when the day arrives, I can immerse myself without delay. It was June 2021 and, for as long as I could remember, I have had a yearning for career growth and/or change as distinct from my present job. My existing job is merely a well-paying position, it is not me per-se, given that it is normal to associate career with identity, I have never been able to associate the two, that is, me and my job. It’s like the accountant who thinks, I work as an accountant and earn my living as such, but I am not an accountant. Without being specific, I am a rail professional, it's what I do for an income, it's hardly me however.
A desire for change outside of my existing job has not resulted in a vocation in spite of many a dabbling's in the past including Politics, my previous blogs, and freelance writing gigs. But work in its present form will end one day and, with any luck, creativity can kick in through a vocation.
So as I began the journey toward the final chapter of a productive life, I am exploring what my vocation could be. It seems as though it has been a calling of sorts, and while accepted logic would suggest that my time has passed or, that I am too old, I dismiss this. Each of us is called to be someone and/or to do things, it’s part of our existence. If we’re growth orientated then discovery is a lifelong process.
There are two areas of interest, two areas that I know a little more than the average Joe about. China in terms of international affairs, and the U.S. in terms of same.
If there is to be a mission in pursuit of either or both these interests then, regardless of which, one thing is certain, specialised knowledge is paramount. Though I read a great deal I cannot help but recall what
Napoleon Hill wrote many a year ago, book smarts or general knowledge only give you generic intelligence. Specific knowledge or specialisation are the keys to success.
Zig Ziglar put it this way, “You Cannot Make It as a Wandering Generality". Mr Hill made another notable point, by adding that the knowledge does not necessarily have to be in one's possession. This suggests that I seek out collaboration both possessing and sharing specialised knowledge,
all the while contributing value. Significantly, the acquired specialisation must be used with purpose and strategy. Accordingly, knowledge must be organised. This all means that intermediate levels of knowledge specialisation in my chosen interest are, at the very least, to be mastered.
On this basis, a significant undertaking.
Admittedly, I don’t quite know which to pursue yet, the introspective self is pronounced and still, nothing crystal. Perhaps it could be both about China and the U.S. as they are
quite the strategic competitors at present.
There is an obstacle within the conscience. A dilemma if you will. It's like standing near the edge of a cliff not focusing, just looking into the vastness of time and space, time past, the present and future, space unending, ever-changing. I perceive too much and in doing so nothing, just status quo. Perhaps this is okay, the universe is pleading for patience. The nothingness is at times, unbearable though I know better, it shouldn't be. It's akin to forms of solitude and in today's world this can be viewed as a shortcoming. “Nourish yourself with grand and austere ideas of beauty that feed the soul… Seek solitude,” young Delacroix
counselled himself in 1824.
The paragraph you are now reading was written some weeks after the previous one, a necessary pause on my part to test for resolve and reasoning. So what will it be? I now know what that "obstacle within the conscience" was, time or lack thereof as a result of existing work hours, in addition to an appreciation of the words I wrote above, so true, and compelling, “on this basis, a significant undertaking”. Indeed it is, and it is this realisation coupled with my being time-poor that has, at least in the interim, revealed the answer.
This will have to be enough wrote Krista O'Reilly Davi-Digui in her exquisite piece,
What if All I Want is a Mediocre Life? “One must know what one wants to be,” the eighteenth-century French mathematician Émilie du Châtelet wrote in weighing the
nature of genius. “ But my mind must keep ticking, evaluating, growing, contributing for as du Châtelet noted so wonderfully in her middle years:
Since I began to live with myself, and to pay attention to the price of time, to the brevity of life, to the uselessness of the things one spends one’s time with in the world, I have wondered at my former behaviour: at taking extreme care of my teeth, of my hair and at neglecting my mind and my understanding. I have observed that the mind rusts more easily than iron, and that it is even more difficult to restore to its first polish.
Thus my two aforementioned interests, as interesting as I may find them require some serious and time-consuming effort stretched over many a year. I cannot pursue them in the manner and way I wish to, while still in full time work.
You can be excused for thinking that I’m too hard on myself, I don’t have to be an intermediate level, expert, perhaps skilled would suffice? That is not me, nor do I think that I would be of any real value to anyone if I am only going to replicate second-hand information that’s available across media, even if the latter is cleverly crafted in my own words or, as I wrote in this blogs bio, infused with my own, "individual spin and" … "distinctive sensibility and "perception of my chosen subject matter".
I do not care for cursory kicks, I've enjoyed incidental notoriety in the past when no less than 26 of my blog posts, as lifted from my
American Interests site appeared on the pages of
Reuters while many also featured on the
Chicago Sun-Times site. The American Interests URL was also included on a
Defense Policy Board Advisory Committee Buzz list, a Federal Advisory Committee to the United States Department of Defence of which
Richard Perle was the initial Chairman and later,
John Hamre. Finally, the blog was also reproduced in book form totalling well over 600 pages.
If I were going to succeed in say, my China example what would that ultimately mean? Book writing, research submissions, contributing to the efforts of Think Tanks and the like are but some options. Now let's consider the prerequisites required for contributions to and/or participation in Think Tanks. Typically specialised media, interest groups and Think Tanks would only solicit the works of individuals that have completed honours or postgraduate studies in the field of endeavour and notably, be amongst the best in terms of results combined with related experience. Not that I would be seeking an internship, at my age that's implausible however, any contribution would be nigh impossible without the credibility provided by relevant background education and experience. Furthermore, any likely participation on my part would be quantified against other outstanding individuals within a highly competitive process. Ordinarily, the alumni would include, Rhodes scholars, current and ex-diplomats, former defence officers, Journalists and Academics. Having done some research, I feel confident that, unless I were to actually cease work and immerse myself entirely on a fairly steep learning curve the exercise will be superfluous. Regrettably, such immersion is not possible at this juncture and, given that for me it’s either the real deal or nothing, I have to be practical.
I'm imagining that if I were to win big in a lotto then, upon ceasing work, I would cheerfully become a full-time University student in my chosen interest. Truth be known, I have often reflected on this, while most folk at my age would think about retiring, travelling, buying fancy cars, designer clothes and/or chilling, I would willingly embrace the aforementioned trial upon retiring, as challenging as it might be.
To console oneself, I reflect on the knowledge that to succeed in any of the options above calls for a mammoth effort in order to migrate from passive to intermediate levels of "value" contribution to the field of study, to the endeavour. Once again that realisation, “a significant undertaking”.
This awareness acknowledges the skill levels out there, and what it will take for me to succeed, it reflects wisdom and for that, I can be grateful. It also indicates growth as at a much younger age, I might have embarked on an ill-fated journey landing me right back where I started.
In closing, a sense of mild melancholy sweeps over me, that slightly disturbing feeling that spells, is that it, is that all it will be for me? For the time being yes, at any rate, I trust the future.
Sapientia et Doctrina.
