About me and this Blog

Welcome to my pinned post.

You might be reading this blog on a smartphone, which is fine. However, for the best experience visit https://personalmeanings.blogspot.com/ using a laptop or desktop, this way you'll have access to a contact form - if you wish to get in touch with me - as well as other features. Alternatively, if using a smartphone you may be able to scroll to the end of the page and see a link saying View web version - clicking on this will let you view this site as if on a desktop or laptop via smartphone.

In this space, you'll uncover facets of my personality that typically remain concealed during personal interactions.

This alternate side of myself is also unveiled through my X (formerly Twitter) account.

Feel free to join the 25,000+ individuals already following me there. My X handle is: @OttavioMCMLXI

I have been online in one form or another since 1998 when, proudly using the now vintage Microsoft FrontPage HTML editor, I built the first of many websites. My most notable website venture was the "American Interests Blog," which debuted in 2007. By the time of its final post, it had grown to over 700,000 words. During its zenith, 32 of my articles were syndicated and featured on platforms such as "The Chicago-Sun Times" and Reuters.com. Additionally, I was extended the honour of speaking live on the BBC World Service, addressing an audience exceeding 150 million on the topic of American Dominance - tap or click here to see my post The day I caught the attention of the BBC. While the American Interests site may no longer be accessible online, those interested in delving into its articles need only reach out and I will be happy to share.

I've often found myself drawn to the realms of knowledge that lie beyond the surface, quietly immersing myself in books, podcasts, and conversations that illuminate the corridors of the mind. While at first glance my intellectual pursuits may not always be visible, they are an integral part of who I am—a silent symphony of curiosity and insight.

You will also come across some film reviews from my cinephile days. I once produced a small collection of adult film reviews for those who appreciate the cinematic art of contemporary adult film. Tap or click here to see my post Adult Film Reviews

On this site you will find me writing about personal challenges and related subject matters that explore what it means to lead a substantive rewarding life in addition to other, sundry interests. Some experiences are good, some not so good.

I am vintage '61 though hardly as triumphant as a Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru…

I work, play, pay bills and tend to the needs of a typical happy family though sometimes an ungrateful family.

I could be, in any given moment, under some stress or entirely relaxed, succeeding or failing, reflecting, time-poor, understanding, excelling but above all, learning and growing. Perfectly human!

As part of the quest, I am candidly endeavouring to examine, from most angles, various internal and external minor and major matters pertaining to our existence, all the while conceding that regrettably, in this modern age, some of us see truth as contestable, knowledge as subjective, and meanings as biased. Hence, we are often presented with "non-literal-commentary" - falsehoods...

It is my hope that the point made in those last three lines is well considered upon reading anything on this site...

Wisdom therefore, becomes comforting and tranquillity, sacred …

Ultimately I enjoy writing about what interests me; I do so to impart knowledge and understanding and to put both an individual spin and my own distinctive sensibility and perception on my chosen subject matter...

I concede an affinity for growth and knowledge and hope you do the same...

My mind is fluid…

Like all of us, I am imperfect….

I am human … :)

The Eternal Test

Life, yes well you know, a tapestry woven with threads of joy and sorrow is it not at times? A journey marked by its inevitable ups and downs. While we often celebrate the peaks of happiness, it's the valleys that truly shape our character and resilience. Take marriage for example, a union of two souls (supposedly) is a commitment, yet it comes with its own set of challenges. Monogamy, a cornerstone of many marriages, can be demanding, requiring constant effort, understanding, and compromise. Balancing individual desires with the needs of a partner can be a delicate tightrope walk.

The ever-changing landscape of human desire and attraction can challenge the exclusivity of monogamy. While some find fulfilment within the boundaries of a committed relationship, others may struggle with feelings of longing, a sense of limitation and loneliness compelling us to seek something outside of...

Navigating these complexities and the pressure to conform to societal norms, to fulfil parental hopes, and to live up to family traditions can be overwhelming. Career aspirations, often intertwined with personal goals, can clash with family commitments as well. Striking a balance between work and family life is a struggle, I suppose for women more so than men especially for women who often bear the brunt of domestic responsibilities.

Ultimately, life is a series of tests is it not? 

Tested always bloody tested, that's me.

Comments now open so feel free to do so...

A Beautiful Friendship

A devoted interaction between two individuals is a delicate balance of biology, but even more so of individual differences. It is fluid and dynamic as they attune to each other, ideally shaped and characterized by friendship and a mutual desire for connection. Ultimately, it hopefully becomes a beautiful relationship grounded in mutual understanding and shared interests. Oh, and when empathy, respect, and genuineness prevails …. 

Picture, if you will, the unique chemistry of an unconditional friendship like this.

An alluring companionship with amiability perfectly attuned to each other's frequency; each other's rhythm. A valued connection, shared perspectives & harmonious resonance? Add to this, intellectual alignment, an emotional connection, shared interests, psychic resonance, healthy somatics and the compelling suspense that it gives rise to. It makes for a more lively existence. Don't you think?

They completely accept each other, embracing their shortcomings, idiosyncrasies, and misunderstandings, and would never interfere with each other’s pursuits or other personal aspects of life.

Two friends who share such an unwavering drama less and unpretentious bond that, even if one chose to walk away, the other would let them go without resistance but rather, with love, finding peace in the joy of their friend's freedom and for having known them in the first place.

One could be forgiven for asking. Wouldn't two people connected like this be in love? To which I would reply, of course love would be present.

Song of the month October 2024

The Great Beauty and I - A Film Review by Otto Marasco

In a mischievous manner, is it perverse of me to find myself drawn to the dysfunctional world of Jep Gambardella?


I knew little of The Great Beauty – La Grande Bellezza – before deciding to view it. "Sexy, provocative, haunting and extravagant" are a sample of the many descriptors employed by reviewers. Speaking of reviews, this is not to be deemed one; on the contrary, consider it a short attempt to interpret the effect of some of its constituent parts as experienced by and, through the eyes of its principal character, Jep Gambardella on the viewer, yours truly - Sapientia et Doctrina.

Excuse me for not bothering about the plot, I suggest you either watch the film or, read one of the many reviews. My first encounter with this film was via the trailer, taking pleasure in that opening party scene as I thought, ah the Italians, good at having escapist fun, forgetting there every day tomorrow.

Without wishing to sound hackneyed, I feel obliged to state that The Great Beauty's vibe and ambience harks to La Dolce Vita. I did not write this because everyone in the industry has already stated it. It is because I have long owned a copy of Federico Fellini’s classic, not that I enjoyed his construct as much, though I will pull it off the shelf again soon.

In short, I found The Great Beauty uplifting but, in a disconcerting way, being consciously aware of an ever-present melancholy undercurrent within Jep that could be felt, not merely understood; a credit to the director, Sorrentino. In my personal case, I could not only understand it, but I could also feel it and do, most nearly all days of late.

The people mix surrounding Jep at events, outdoor theatres and parties intrigued me. There were few perfectly formed Hollywood like twenty something’s to be seen instead, we are offered a surprising mix of older types, Jep at 65 and those immediately around him middle-aged and older. A smart mix since the supposedly seasoned can also be silly, asinine, immature, senseless and crazy at times, undeniably they can be raw, barbaric and loutish as well just like their younger counterparts. Jep’s crown, high society cultured and yet, so philistine.

In a mischievous manner, is it perverse of me to find myself drawn to the dysfunctional world of Jep Gambardella? Far removed from my own existence and that of many my age, nevertheless, I often crave an alternate reality as a much-needed diversion, even if only for a few short months as a counter to the daily humdrum. We do want to reach end days and be able to say, I have lived!

I could do with a dose of meaningless living and outright unabashed hedonism, I can be dead while alive, I can be Jep, I can be "Jeppino", a dark secret perhaps, the tag line if you like.

Jep turns 65 early in the film and through a series of seemingly innocuous events, he begins reflecting on his life and he does not appear comfortable, has he awoken, faced the truth, opened his eyes? I opened mine long ago but have I opened them wide enough?. To think about and reflect on one’s own, to step out of self, to think about one's thinking, to look at, as opposed to merely looking can be oh so revealing, enlightening. It is like having two selves co-existing, one real the other imagined looking at the whole, trying to make sense where sometimes sadly, there may be no sense to be found. "Imagined" but nonetheless important, for when we begin doing this we are living, we understand and accept the truth and begin feeling the hurt then, with any luck, we smile regardless, for we accept that this is life, our lives. I am not suggesting that I am happy nor that I am unhappy, I am simply though somewhat unenthusiastically accepting reality. In Jep's words,

"It all settled beneath the chattering and the noise, silence and sentiment, emotion and fear ... and then the wretched squalor and miserable humanity" 

Jep also appears to be experiencing that thought and the accompanying feeling, vita non realizzata, - life unfulfilled - not a pleasant thought.

I wonder why the film opened with that quote, the one that suggests that anything other than travel (because when we do this we do not settle down) is just a delusion and pain. Was it Jep’s view and modus operandi for the forty years that he partied in Rome?

A couple of things stood out for me, The Great Beauty can have the effect of making it's viewers think about their lives, for some critically for others perhaps casually and, it's a good showcase of excess cheeky though realistic adult kitsch…

Click here and here to read some notable reviews

© 2014 - 2024 Ottavio Marasco. All rights reserved.

Related reading: Federico Fellini - 5 reasons He Still Matters

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No Human is Special

Those who have thought deeply about one’s place in the grand scheme of things have perhaps come across a written piece or two about our insignificance on this earthly plane save amongst those emotionally connected to us. It’s an argument based moderately on the enormity of the known universe. As a thought and better still, as a paradigm, it’s a healthy prescription and allows us to get on with life by acknowledging this form of meanness. A noble beau ideal.

In addition to the nothingness related and conferred to by the astrophysical perspective, we are also insignificant in terms of what life simply dishes out to us. We are not so special in fact, we are not special at all irrespective of what’s happening in our life at this present moment, or what’s happened in the past and, what’s in store for us. I’m not speaking spiritually rather in the practical what’s seen, heard, experienced and felt gist. Everything, every manner of human experience, good or bad, delightful or abhorrent has preceded you in others.

What is that you’re asking of me? The experiences to which I am referring? Too many to list! A life lived embodies an infinite sum of occurrences and happenstances and, the resultant feelings and emotions that arise from such. A tapestry is woven by the sum of experience by way of the hand we are dealt.

Are you in love, madly in love, in lust perhaps? A form of lust and love so intense that you believe it’s private and special, that no other couple could be so fortunate. You haven’t read James Joyce’s letters, the dirty and the most beautiful. Have you been subjected to what you believe is the worst of humankind? Perhaps you should learn more about the holocaust. Have you lost a dearest family member to a disease or accident? Lost a home to fire? Won a lottery? Are you mega-rich or, mega poor? Been wrongly incarcerated, witnessed a loved one being raped, climbed a peak actual or metaphorical? Ad infinitum … You are not the first to experience anything.

And pity those who espouse that feeling of being special as realised from the power conferred through their careers or whatever positions or stations in life they reside in, rather than, intrinsic values. Life isn’t concerned with an artificial sense of importance.

Whatever your present human condition, someone somewhere in the world today, or in the past, has been there, has felt the same uplifting and glorious or otherwise, miserable and depraved emotions. Whatever contemplation may surface that you are uniquely unlucky or lucky, blessed, exceptional, or special in some way, banish the thought, for someone has been there.

For all of us, life offers a ceaseless succession of experience and encounter providing trials, outcomes, lessons and the resultant emotions.

This should not be interpreted such that the sheer scale and continuum of the human experience and, the universe make living pointless. More accurately, it should be a wake-up call to rise above the noise of modern-day life with all its push-pull factors and to embrace the power that comes from not being special, from insignificance itself.

You are not special….

Ecclesiastes 1:9 What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

To Love to die, To die to love

To love, is to accept that you have made an inescapable pact with grief. From Maria Popova, once referred to as, Cartographer of meaning in a digital Age a beautiful piece exploring what love and death share in the magic of life. 

Love and death come to us on common terms — unbidden and total, impervious to protest, naked of pretension. They also come to us entwined: Every love is a franchise of grief, for to love anything is to accept its loss — by a dissipation of ardor or of atoms, the atoms constellating the beloved or the atoms constellating us and the consciousness that does the loving, certain to one day go the way of every other consciousness and every other love that ever was and ever will be.

In some deep sense, this inevitability of loss is precisely what makes love so ecstatic — a concentrated experience of aliveness consecrated by its own perishability.

I have, more than once or twice, reflected on life post the loss of loved ones. A thought too painful to contemplate, a thought for which I cannot find a solution in ways I would normally. The only solace being that many before me have been forced against all known forces, to cross a similar, if not same bridge. Would it be better to escape the inevitability of grief by not loving? Isn't death part of the story of life itself? By removing one, you remove the other; life, love and loss entwined. 

Read the whole piece here

Song of the Month August 2024 x 2

Song of the month August 2024

Brief Crossing – A Film Review by Otto Marasco

 

…In a brutal twist, her true objective is revealed at films end as she deftly turns conventional wisdom upside down about woman as emotional victims of the male ego… 

Why is it that almost everyone who has written about this film, in the first instance,

delves into the idiosyncrasies of its Director Catherine Breillet? This is noted with most reviews of her work. The ever-provocative filmmaker is known to quite literally throw punches at her audiences through rampant sex in your face eroticism, usually between disturbed albeit realistic, human entities and in most all cases, from the feminine psychological standpoint. Not that I believe that she delights in polarizing her addressees, indeed, the viewer’s enjoyment will hinge on whether they have an appreciation of not merely the erotic, but foreign film in general. Controversy and attention has continually been routine for Breillet. As a 17 year old, her first novel was so racy that the author was technically not permitted to buy her own book. Her first film, “A real young girl”, was banned and literally shelved for a quarter of a century. To this day, it seems the cinema world cannot find consensus on the filmmaker for she is put down by some and thoroughly commended by others. For those who have not experienced her work, Brief Crossing may prove a worthy introduction as it is positively more accessible than either Romance, or Anatomy of Hell. The film examines both a middle-aged woman’s desire and her apparent take on men; she is a late thirty something and he, an archetypal teenage male. This is something Breillet has done before however, in this case, there are fewer shocks.

A sexual attraction and subsequent one nightstand between a naïve young man and a much older woman, is the subject of exploration here. Gilles Guillain plays Thomas, a classic French boy who catches the liner, Pride of Le Havre, from Le Havre to Portsmouth. During the overnight journey, he meets Alice (Sarah Pratt) the seasoned and sexy English woman who is more than twice his age. In a cafeteria, the shy young man tells her that he is a tad older than his true age, likes a cigarette or two and hates school. She reveals a little about her life; she likes photography and that she is separated from her husband who seemed to have lost interest in her. There is little if anything in common between them, but this does nothing to detract from the sexual apprehension. Thomas takes cues from his environ as he steers hard toward a possible union of bodies. Finally, after the usual concoction of moves and phrases, she invites him to her cabin. The physical interaction is tender (not to be taken literally) with Alice coming out the least affected. In a brutal twist, her true objective is revealed at films end as she deftly turns conventional wisdom upside down about woman as emotional victims of the male ego. 

The film embodies two evident but often not so transparent elements of relationships and sexual politics. We witness classic and hackneyed battle of the sexes matter from a feminine viewpoint as Alice slates men in relationships, relating to them as if nothing but users and abusers who treat woman as disposable lighters for their own personal whims. It is customary cynicism, the jilted woman purportedly running from a failed marriage.    

However, things are not as they seem (spoiler to come). You see, in the end, we discover that Alice is indeed married and has a child. One can assume that her earlier dialogue was either a dishonest distraction to delay and heighten the inevitable unification of flesh or, a not so neutral stance on the part of Breillet in terms of gender politics. Back to Alice, why did she do it? Is she a control freak seeking to take advantage of an impassioned teenager knowing all the while that she could guide and dominate at will? On the other hand, was it purely a case of enacting fantasy?

Brief Crossing reminds us about the common misconception that woman do not fantasize like males, that they are merely romantics more so than sexual beings. In the 1970’s Nancy Friday’s research showed us that woman not only fantasize but can also be perverse and kinky in thought and deed perhaps depending on where they are in the menstrual cycle. Here we see Alice possibly enacting a combination of commonly documented fantasies. “Sex with a stranger” – you do not have to see each other again, no emotional baggage, it is very naughty and one can be openly sexual without fear of being labeled. “Being sexually desirable” – the need to be wanted and desired by someone other than your spouse. “To be in charge” – today’s woman is dominant in society and some wish to bring that dominance into the bedroom, to be the heroin of the fantasy. Last but not least, “Older woman, younger man” – we recall Demi Moore proudly holding the hand of Ashton Kutcher, some 20 years her junior. The media screamed that this was not uncommon. It is conceivable that for Alice it was all just about sex and fantasy. After all, and older woman’s sexual peak is more closely attuned to that of a much younger male. 

The film exudes the kind of eroticism that is classic Breillet. Sarah Pratt is no Angelina Jolie, more "plain Jane", but such is the overall effect, that your atypical cannot wait for her to undress. Full marks to the Director for the sexual tension she creates and the way it absorbs the viewer. Look out for the astute camerawork, which beautifully captures the person, the character, the emotion and tension. The photographic technique speaks when dialogue is absent; the visuals become part of the storytelling. 

Enjoy Brief Crossing for its honest delivery of eroticism and human craving and remember as you watch, that it is not only foreign film, but created in the Breillet universe. In the end, make your own judgement about Alice’s behaviour.

Peak Self Worth

 I recently came across a post on X from one of my followers that read - 

“The best revenge is to have enough self-worth, not to seek it.” 

I thought it was powerful, It struck a chord and quickly found myself reflecting on how sound it was, however almost immediately I also thought it didn’t go far enough, it was somehow deficient. I sort to expand it and came up with the following which I posted back on X - 

“True but imagine possessing such a profound sense of self-worth that nothing can disturb your peace, transcending any need to act against others - a state comparable to and reminiscent of, the ancient philosophers' ideal of equanimity”

Can we humans truly become enlightened, accomplished, and complete? We can, but it’s easier said than done. Even I found my more comprehensive version intimidating. Yet, I was drawn to the challenge of personal growth, striving to reach a state of calmness and composure.

Before long, I felt compelled to delve even deeper, exploring various descriptions to generate an even more expanded version -

“Imagine possessing such a profound sense of confidence, self-belief, but more notably, self-worth - a deep knowing that “I” am of value, that “I” am lovable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth. This kind of assurance is not just a fleeting feeling but a solid, unshakeable foundation upon which one’s entire existence rests. It’s an inner conviction so powerful that it shields one from the slings and arrows of the external world.

In this state of being, nothing can disturb inner peace. Criticism, rejection, adversity and even attacks lose their sting because one’s sense of worth is rooted deeply within, immune to the fluctuating opinions and actions of others. One no longer feels the need to act against others or push back, for self-worth is not dependent on external validation or approval. 

This inner peace and confidence stem from an unequivocal knowing that a state of profound equanimity will be attained. It's a state where one transcends ego-driven responses, embodying a calm, balanced demeanour in the face of life's challenges, becoming like the ancient philosophers who revered equanimity as the highest virtue - a state of mental and emotional stability undisturbed by changes of fortune.

In this state, one is free from the inner turmoil that often drives reactive behaviour. The world is seen with clarity, free from the distortions of fear and insecurity. Actions are guided by wisdom and compassion, not by the need to defend or prove oneself. 

Imagine the liberation that comes with this profound self-worth. It allows one to live authentically, pursue passions, and contribute to the world in meaningful ways without the constraints of doubt or fear. Relationships flourish because they are built on mutual respect and genuine connection, not on the shaky grounds of neediness or competition.

This state of equanimity is not just an ideal but a practical, attainable way of being. It requires a journey inward, a deep exploration of self, and the cultivation of inner resources. Through practices like mindfulness, self-reflection, and self-compassion, one nurtures this profound sense of self-worth. It’s a lifelong journey, but with each step, one moves closer to this state of serene confidence, where he or she is truly at peace within and with the world”.

If I was intimidated by my earlier creation, imagine how I feel now. Let’s be honest, the state of equanimity detailed above appears impossible to arrive at. It’s too long to be a mantra but I have printed it and placed it around such that it's seen and read often. If I, if indeed one, can arrive at just sixty percent attainment of this ideal then life would be more rewarding.

The World Is Not As Stable As It looks

The state of global order is worrisome. Is the world safer than it was a year ago? Is the danger of serious economic decline of the kind that impacts the vulnerable higher or lower than a year ago? Have institutional arrangements that lubricate and resolve conflicts of interest and challenges strengthened or weakened in the past year?

We should also consider the potential impact the November U.S. election outcome could have on the global order regardless of the result. Even if the incumbent gets over the line his adversary has, on many occasions, indicated disruption and the Wests enemies are counting on this.  Chaos is imminent.

In 2007, on a blog that no longer exists, I contemplated a future scenario where a leader with flaws similar to Donald Trump could potentially disrupt the international order.

Whether you like America or not it does not matter. If America imperfect were to either collapse or alternatively, butt out of worldly affairs as Trump often touts, not completely but enough to cause major shifts, then the world may be faced with a global situation of startling instability and great risk. A global shift in power of which the end product cannot be accurately guessed at, nor can it be forecast with any exactitude.

In 2024, the world stands at a pivotal juncture, facing an array of interconnected global challenges that are shaping the course of history. Concern is warranted.

A Heart-Wrenching Display: Reflections and Considerations on the Behavior of Our Relatives

In early February, I began noticing something was with Joy. She seemed troubled by something, though its source was unknown to me. When I asked her about it, all she revealed was that it involved her sisters, whom I'll refer to here as SA and LM - their initials. In the first instance, I asked if I was somehow involved; she reassured me that I wasn't. What was causing such tension among the three sisters? I never found out, but I was later informed that things had settled down and all was sorted. This calm was short-lived. Around a month later, in early March, my wife received a phone call from both SA and LM, reigniting the dispute.

The conversation became intense and greatly upset Joy. I was not home when the call was made having arrived toward the end of their conversation. As I listened, it became evident that the topic revolved around my daughter's separation and divorce, specifically regarding her ex-husband and the negotiations, particularly concerning child sharing arrangements. While SA and LM emphasised that their concern was primarily for the welfare of my grandchildren, it became apparent that their interests extended beyond this. The conversation also turned to other aspects of the divorce negotiations that were supposed to be confidential, only between the solicitors representing their clients and immediate family. They questioned how much our former son-in-law would receive as part of the divorce settlement and future child support payments, even suggesting that he might be financially incapable of meeting these obligations.

Without elaborating further, two fundamental and disturbing things became apparent. SA and LM were fully informed about all facets of the divorce negotiations between our daughter and her former husband, LR - his initials. Unbeknown to us, LR had been in regular contact with my wife's side of the family in the months leading up to this revelation. He divulged the details of an ongoing divorce negotiation, which at the time of this writing, was still active, thus initiating a situation that undermined the legal process. Additionally, he succeeded in persuading his audience to align with his perspective.

It appears that, in the perspective of the callers, my daughter, Joy and I have been and continue to be at fault regarding all aspects of the divorce proceedings. What astounds is how they could let someone outside of the family manipulate them such that they have turned on us. There is so much SA and LM do not know nor should they know. A divorce is difficult for any family. When news broke that our daughter and her now ex had split it was painful enough and many months of mental anguish consumed us. This anguish continues today accordingly, the last thing we need is more grief from extended family. Evidently we have been judged harshly. Did LR bother to outline how much we have done for him throughout the years, not to mention the love extended. Did he mention how we embraced him as family. Evidenced by our actions such as becoming guarantors for his loan for gender-affirming (sex change) surgery before he was even engaged to our daughter. How we willingly extended our support by assisting him in purchasing a car, covering car servicing expenses not merely bringing the car for servicing and returning it, mowing his lawn, and contributing significantly towards the purchase of a home, including additional expenses for landscaping, window shutters, air conditioning and other peripherals all in all totalling over $110,000. We also financially facilitated the journey to parenthood by covering all the expenses of multiple rounds of IVF treatments to the tune of just under $50,000.

Even after his separation and moving into rent our support continued unabated. We actively participated in overseeing trades work at his rental property on multiple occasions, funded plumbing services and a new tap installation, helped acquire household appliances like a new dryer, and even took care of repairs for his car, including a costly bonnet respray ($750). Remember what I did for Hunter's bike LR?

Furthermore, we anticipated his financial hardship in Nov 2023 due to placement and in good faith, offered $10,000 up front two months earlier - he never bothered to get back to us about that. We helped with practical tasks like assembling furniture and accompanying him to medical appointments. We were there for him in times of emotional distress, such as when his pet passed away and we cleaned everything up or when he needed assistance in a moment of vulnerability like being locked in the bathroom. Our commitment to his well-being was evident in our consistent offer to provide financial support whenever he found himself in need.

However, it appears unlikely that LR discussed these acts of kindness with SA or LM for that would make us look good, but more disappointingly his audience failed to question for there is always two sides to a story -Understanding is like a three-edged sword—it has your side, their side, and the truth that lies somewhere in between. They could have questioned and attempted to gather all the facts before forming conclusions. Regardless, despite our continuous support and genuine care, we are still viewed in a negative light. But, in reality, are we truly such terrible people? An independent legal arbiter would beg to differ.

Notwithstanding, the damage is done. Both SA and LM have passed judgement based on faulty premises without understanding the intricate financial details that led to the numbers being presented. Their intervention has already sparked a new wave of communications between the opposing legal parties, resulting in increased legal fees for our daughter, amounting to hundreds of dollars to date. But the situation gets worse for SA and LM. Their unwitting intervention has emboldened LR, leading to extended time frames for the divorce negotiations and additional legal costs for our side of the family. Still, the repercussions extend beyond financial and timing factors. The final divorce settlement is now tainted, imposing additional and unplanned costs and compromised agreements regarding other elements of the separation. Moreover, we cannot overlook the psychological damage. Following that last phone exchange, my wife and I experienced sleepless nights and heightened anxiety and worry. These feelings of anxiety and mental strain persist many weeks and months later. To suggest that my wife was menaced by those phone calls is an understatement. As her many friends would attest to, she normally has an unswerving cheerful and convivial external disposition in quite nearly all circumstances within the public domain. This playful and cheerful demeanour is frequently exploited. As her partner for more than four decades, I can confidently state that behind that jovial persona is a proud, confident, thoughtful, and very intuitive person with little need to lay claim, colour appearances or pretend about anything. After these events she is and remains livid at what her sisters have done.

I say to SA and LM and their families, move forward with your lives - forget about us, as we attempt to move on from you. You've made your choice and sided with the other party, abandoning an almost life long relationship in the process. Instinctively, I believe SA and LM would stand unaffected amidst all this. Their self righteousness and sense of superiority was so evident during that call. Self-assurance stemming from where? Out-of-context recordings? What makes them so confident in their judgement? What information have they been exposed to, possibly even through digital means? Could LR be so cunning and devious to have gone down this path? I concede not knowing for certain, either way, it appears his audience let emotions rather than rational thought processes determine the outcome of their response to us.

Legal

It should be evident as what I am alluding to here. This ignorant and ultimately foolish intervention, or meddling, has led to unnecessary emotional suffering on our part, in addition to a compromised divorce settlement outcome and increased financial costs. At the time of this writing the extent of the material, financial and psychological damage is fluid and yet to be fully quantified.

Civil law governs the rights and responsibilities of individuals in their interactions, hence I am contemplating my options. The legal system in Australia recognises personal injury in the form of emotional distress caused by others. Understandably, I will refrain from being specific here, but suffice to say that the actions of our extended family members specifically SA and LM and perhaps indirectly a certain JA have had a profound adverse impact on our daily lives, including our relationships and work in addition to the divorce negotiations to date.

In the future, we will disengage entirely from SA, LM, and their families. Their words and behaviour have created impassable barriers between us, barriers that cannot be overcome - see my post Watch the words you speak. 

Moving forward, I will be diligent and comprehensive in my preparations, relying on my patience and methodical approach. When fully prepared and dust has settled from the current situation, I have the option of choosing to pursue a course of action, which would involve consulting a reputable civil litigation lawyer. 

If it goes down this path from my point of view it will be a case of, "Not my Circus, not my Monkeys".

So where to from here? Do I go legal or as challenging as it may be I embrace the virtue of equanimity - peak self worth.

Epilogue Ch 1

If SA and LM were to find there way here by chance or design, I would want them to grasp the following:

"Recall all the information LR shared with you about us, verbal digital or otherwise. Everything! Every single detail, smear and critique. Have you ever questioned whether LR was entirely truthful? Have you considered the possibility of inaccuracies? Have you reflected on LR's potential motives for distorting truth? Have you applied critical thinking"? It seems you have not! This could cost you a significant sum"

Though, as I've written, it won't alter the current situation; the damage has been done.

Epilogue Ch 2

It is June 25, and my wife spoke with SA this past week. It was an unplanned conversation resulting from concerns over my mother in-laws health. The conversation didn't solve anything and only demonstrated how different our opinions are. This situation has deeply affected us and unsettled our family. We are very disappointed with everyone involved. It's becoming clear that the option of legal action is getting firmer. Personally, I never want anything to do with them again.

Epilogue Ch 3

Our mediation session today (16 July, 2024) wasn't successful. Despite proposing five different child-sharing options, LR refused to budge on his preferred arrangement. It seems there's no room for negotiation. This will not bode well for him if the matter does go to family court. However, there was a significant development. LR revealed details of a conversation that happened during our granddaughter's birthday in January, despite not being present. This revelation, which he admitted came through LM, was also shared with our legal team. What a gift! This confirms our suspicions that LM, SA and JA (my sisters in law and Joy's niece) have been interfering in our legal matters by discussing them with him. This behaviour is helpful as we move closer to suing.

As stated in the body of this writing, "At the time of this writing the extent of the material, financial and psychological damage is fluid and yet to be fully quantified." and, in Epilogue Ch 1, "This situation has deeply affected us and unsettled our family." I am compelled to add that due to the ongoing back and forth nature of the matter it has had a profound psychological impact on Joy, she is devastated and spiralling emotionally resulting, in great strain on our marriage.

If anything were to happen to her I will be unequivocal in my legal response by doing everything in my power to take LM, SA and JA to the cleaners.

Hopefully, they have competent legal representation for they will need it.

Updated: 17 July 2024

Israel, Iran and Gaza - A basic observation

When Hamas attacked Israel in early October killing over 1100 Israelis (Source: Al-Jazeera) and taking hostages Israel responded by invading Gaza claiming it had a right to defend itself. At the time of this post over 30,000 Palestinian men woman and many children have lost their lives (Source: npr.org).

On April 1, Israel launched an attack on Iran’s embassy in Damascus Syria, killing multiple commanders who manage operations for Iran-aligned forces around the region. Embassies are considered to be inviolable therefore the attack was akin to an attack on Iranian soil.

Today's action by Iran was a measured retaliatory response to the embassy attack. Hence, like Israel, Iran too claims it has a right to defend itself. Measured because within hours Iran had concluded its strike. This was announced via the Iranian mission to the United Nations. 

Regardless of your views on the Middle East situation involving Israel, Iran, and Gaza, it's crucial to grasp the region's intricate politics and history before making superficial comments on social media. Therefore, when I come across posts suggesting that Iran's attack today was unprovoked, it highlights the pervasive ignorance at play.

Irrespective of our opinions (mine inclusive), it's important to acknowledge that war and conflict are grim realities, and it's the innocent and vulnerable who ultimately bear the brunt of suffering.

Further reading: Why Iran attacked Israel – and what open war between the two could look like

The day I caught the attention of the BBC

It was an unforgettable day. My blog, American Interests, had been active for over 18 months when, on November 15, 2008, I published a comprehensive post titled "America will remain Strong." In it, I argued that despite recent setbacks, the U.S.'s ability to rejuvenate and adapt was fuelled by numerous structural advantages, essential for maintaining a peaceful 21st century through a rules-based international order reliant on U.S. global strategic power. This post garnered significant attention, particularly from one of the world's largest media companies, the BBC.

As depicted in the image provided, the blog was transformed into a manuscript, and during its circulation, no fewer than 32 of my articles were syndicated and featured on platforms like "The Chicago-Sun Times" and Reuters.com. Success was becoming familiar, with advertisers now vying for space to promote their products on my platform.

Just seven days after the post's publication, I received an email from a BBC broadcast journalist - see image below. I was being courted for possible participation in a live radio debate on American Dominance—a prospect that thrilled me. The BBC boasts a reach of over 1 billion listeners, with potential listener ship numbers soaring to over 200 million at any given moment.

When I started the blog, I never envisioned having the chance to address hundreds of millions of people!

Since the blog is no longer accessible online, anyone interested in reading my American Dominance piece or, for that matter, any other of the hundreds of my articles from the blog need only reach out to me and I will happily oblige. Use my contact form by visiting this blog at https://personalmeanings.blogspot.com/ using a laptop or desktop as my contact form is not usually visible if accessing this site via a smartphone.

Watch the words you speak...

Great post from Petra, how true! 

We've recently experienced firsthand the impact of words that achieved just that. It's disheartening to realize these words came from members of our own extended family. L.M and S.A (there initials), your focus, my life partner, once believed in the depth of the relationship she shared with you. However, on that significant evening, she came to understand that it was rather shallow afterall.

Arguments based on faulty premises that hurt. Damage done, differences irreconcilable. It's over!

Words can build bridges or erect insurmountable walls! Choose wisely which path you take. pic.twitter.com/fQ3uAlrXSA

— Petra (@Petra47448293) March 29, 2024

Donald Trump’s Ascendancy

President Donald Trump comes up often in general discussions of late and, considering the prevailing consensus that he is grossly unpopular (which is very true outside U.S. borders), quite often people question how he won the 2016 Presidential contest in the first place. This is what I am writing about here. 

I AM NOT advocating for Trump through this writing, I am merely highlighting the methods and strategies he adopted as a Presidential candidate in the 2016 race.

He may not have been an accomplished politician during and on, his journey to Presidency however, when he entered the contest he was already an accomplished individual just not, as a career politician. Yet despite this and, a privileged personal history, he quite remarkably identified and zeroed in upon the discontent in middle America and, not quite by accident, how to get around the 240-electoral vote “Blue wall” that ran from Wisconsin to North Carolina. Metaphorically speaking, a barrier that has successfully encased a Democrat vote for the past six elections.

Consider, we had well over a dozen talented and more experienced candidates within the Republican camp and yet slowly, Trump lay them all to waste, Mike Huckabee, Rand Paul, Rick Santorum, Carly Fiorina, Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz and more. This was no indolent process it was more dynamic. Over a year-long primary race they, and his Democrat rival in Hillary Clinton, could not match Trump’s instincts about what troubled so many an American voter, the forgotten middle - the exception was Democrat Bernie Sanders but the Hillary camp took care of him before Trump could. It matters little that Trump’s modus operandi was ugly and most certainly cynical, it soon harboured its own momentum and, as the November 2016 election drew closer, it seeped into Trump and his camp, as if by osmosis, that they were gaining the upper hand. From their lofty LA, New York and Washington pads this was entirely missed by mainstream media  Thus, a rich Manhattan resident felt the public angst more comprehensively than vanilla media, Hillary Clinton, President Obama, not to mention a talented pool of Republican wannabe’s, and in true populist fashion, Donald Trump courted his tribe, won them over and became President.

In terms of extent, Russia's influence on the election result remains a noteworthy factor, but I am willing to bet that Trump would have achieved the feat anyway.

... he chose to focus on three significant ideological issues of our epoch, illegal immigration, employment and trade and political correctness ...

Quite nearly all politicians have a streak of anti-elitist tendencies, Donald Trump was by far the superior populist in 2016. I viewed his campaign as crude and different yet effective, because he chose to focus on three significant ideological issues of our epoch, illegal immigration, employment and trade and political correctness. He also pressed a hot button by questioning the extent of America's overseas interventions - Foreign Policy.

Foreign Policy

Trump’s simple message went something like this. Why invest resources in parts of the world where Americans are hated, while at home we’re stuck in low paid jobs and struggle to find work. “America First” resonated with a substantial portion of the populace who faced income disparity and rising inequality. He proposed several initiates including a re-negotiation of U.S. alliance terms with Japan, South Korea and NATO – he had not specifically named my homeland Australia but was on the record saying that the U.S. had no interest in being in Asia militarily. Such pitches tapped into an emerging desire among Americans that their nation should not attempt to solve the world’s problems. Trump rejected the notion that the U.S. should act as global police, indeed Obama had a similar viewpoint, but Trump went much further by suggesting that the U.S. does not even need to be involved in enforcing international law & order in its present definition - incidentally, something he's forgotten since becoming President, think Syrian intervention following the gas attacks on its population. Trump also questioned nuclear non-proliferation, mutual self-defence treaties and overseas military bases.

Obama had also demonstrated a degree of foreign policy separation but with alarming results. His lukewarm responses to regional issues left a security vacuum, and when that happens the “bad guys” are always there to fill the void. While America stuttered, Putin attacked Ukraine and has since launched a reckless campaign in Syria, attacked Georgia and annexed Crimea. In this light, I was no fan of Trumps America first rhetoric but many an American obviously was.

Immigration

Trump was also clever with immigration. He would often criticise elites knowing full well that he was one himself and it’s the elites who are least affected by illegal immigration's consequences on U.S. communities. First, he highlighted potential though incorrect pitfalls without holding back. Illegal immigration meant more “hit and run accidents", “crowded emergency hospital rooms", "social security offices”, “more drugs”, "more gang violence”, increased load on an already stretched education system etc. And with such loud pronouncements, he opened a plethora of populist overtures that would transcend political affiliations and loyalties and, in doing so, he suddenly even tapped into the Democrat working-class vote. Who would have thought so?

Moreover, Trump knew that's it’s not the well to do and elites who suffered most in competition for limited subsidies and entitlements due to illegal arrivals, rather it’s the lower middle classes and poor minorities who had to compete.

While the media and its cache of progressive disciples (not meant as criticism), including but not limited to, Hillary Clinton and many Republicans shouted xenophobia and the like, Trump successfully turned the discourse into a question of fairness and lawful equality. “Why” he would shout at his rallies, should select foreign nationals not be subject to federal laws while “you” (American citizens) are not permitted to pick and choose which laws to follow?

Employment

He also focused on employment by reminding would-be voters that economic growth was weak and that labour non- participation was still very high and competition for jobs, intense. Thus, why was the U.S. allowing foreign nationals to compete in the workforce under illegal auspices whereas those who sought legal entry were not rendered the same rights and privileges? Typical fear mongering!

This led to another pitfall by Trump's political opponents, detractors and the media. The broad consensus suggested that DT would fail with any tough immigration stance because Latino’s, - those of Latin American origin who comprised a great many illegal immigrants in the first place, - was an emerging voting force to contend with. It was widely assumed that going hard on immigration would be political suicide. But Latino communities were not totally uniform, hence established Hispanics, Latinos whatever, were actually targeted by Trump and made to understand that it was they who suffered most due to the consequences of illegal immigration, and it worked and many voted for him.

Trade 

Trade is complex or, at the very least hardly the zero-sum game that Trump successfully turned the discourse into. Republican  - and Washington - policy regards trade has always been tantamount to an unconstrained form of free trade regardless of potential pitfalls for U.S. consumers and its local producers. U.S. policymakers and politicians did not bat an eyelid as the EU or Japan subsidized their exports and even raised barriers to imports. While such policy adjustments abroad angered American producers and voters, Washington accepted the imbalance in the knowledge that local producers would be forced to tighten their costs, seek greater efficiencies and become more competitive. But alas, Trump seized on this as evidence that it was Americans who paid the ultimate price through job losses and/or lower incomes. The U.S. has always been an advocate of the globalization experiment; accordingly, any trade liabilities were consented to without push back as part of its hypothetical responsibility to further the globalization cause among weaker trading partners. After all, it was still the world’s largest economy, even if only just still ahead of China and, most certainly the most powerful nation militarily.

Trump was gaining traction through his message that such lop-lopsidedness hurt ordinary Americans and that U.S. policymakers, being the architects of this trade ideology, were not impacted by its ramifications. Lest we forget, Trump himself was a billionaire Manhattan man with many privileges, a man who, like those he criticised, would hardly have been impacted by the trade policies he was attacking. But here we witnessed Trump channelling frustrations to middle America, ordinary factory workers, plumbers, electricians, retail workers and the like with much empathy. He avoided the singular, instead of focusing on plural possessive pronouns, “our workers”, ‘our farmers”, “our….”, he assured them that the pain they felt was not beyond their control, that their economic circumstances were not predetermined but regulated by elites and that only he could liberate them. 

Little wonder he soon penetrated the Democratic “Blue wall”. In the rallies that followed, the populist language was adjusted to fit the parameters of general electoral college vocabulary. Michigan, Ohio, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania etc. soon internalised the mantra. Trump would save mining jobs, construction and manufacturing and the more he spoke in politically incorrect terms, the sharper his message. The trade conversation surrounding the 2016 Presidential race was effortlessly won by Trump. 

Political Correctness

Finally, can anyone offer a more effective tool for a populist to advance his course that head butting the concept that is, political correctness? If you need any evidence that PC is the current day turn off one need only witness the global sensation that is, Jordan Peterson. To the delight of many, Trump liberally offered terms like, “Merry Christmas” and “Radical Islamic Terror”. Nor would he shy away from saying something as benign as, “Mr” or “Mrs”, “waitress” or “man-made” etc. Trump proudly advocated orthodox terms without fear or favour at the delight of his emerging base. It did not matter what the subject matter, “Black lives matter” or, the Environment, Trump spoke in the language of yesteryear as if seeking to rekindle a past moral universe where the “forgotten man” resided. “We're gonna get away from political correctness” his often-banded quote. This language resonated with a significant proportion of would-be voters who have little affinity for progressive culture – identity politics, radical feminism, boutique environmentalism and metro sexual careerism. 

Remarkably, a proportion of the voting population that resided in more than 70 per cent of America’s geography somehow remained largely unknown to media, academia, celebrities, politicians and Hollywood sorts, but not to Donald Trump.

Lines like, “America First”, “Build that Wall”, “Drain the Swamp”, “Lock her up” (Hillary) and Trump’s official campaign slogan, “Make America Great” (MAGA) resonated with many, and gave Donald Trump the Presidency, a result that surprised so many an elite that incorrectly assumed their own values were shared by all Americans. As one source put it:

"Trump won with the endorsement of (only) one major newspaper; his party establishment disavowed him, and many of its billionaires sat out the race; his campaign was out-spent and out-organized; his tax dodges were exposed; and a video documented his predatory sexist boasts reinforced by testimonies of several of his victims." 

Bellicose President Trump has many flaws but we should not be surprised that his base looked to him and rewarded him, not merely in the hope of getting back to work or, to reclaim a forgotten way of speaking in public, but for paying tribute rather than scoffing at their way of living as Hillary did with her "Basket of Deplorables" statement, not that she was incorrect.

Further reading:

The Unbearable Smugness of the Press

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